1 00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:50,470 I thank you, gentlemen, and this afternoon's lecture. 2 00:00:51,770 --> 00:00:52,770 Thank you. 3 00:01:03,710 --> 00:01:04,688 Good morning. 4 00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:05,388 Good morning. 5 00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:06,390 I'm Max Gelada. 6 00:01:07,090 --> 00:01:08,130 Dr. Max Gelada? 7 00:01:08,330 --> 00:01:09,330 That is quite right. 8 00:01:09,350 --> 00:01:11,570 Oh, well, if you'll just wait a moment, Professor, I'll tell your assistant 9 00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:13,050 manager that you're here. Thank you. 10 00:01:13,330 --> 00:01:15,730 Do you mind filling out one day's dream, please? Not at all. 11 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:17,760 Oh, Mr. Cradley? 12 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:19,140 Yes, it's great, sir. 13 00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:21,720 Yes, Professor Max Collado has arrived. 14 00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,240 Yes, sir, I'll do that right away, sir. 15 00:01:24,860 --> 00:01:27,920 This is the manager. We'll be with you in one moment, sir. Very good. 16 00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:29,700 Are they tart? 17 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:31,520 I'm sorry? 18 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,160 The girls, are they tart? 19 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,700 Oh, I believe they're students, Professor. They're here for the 20 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,880 of course. Many of them are here for my lectures. 21 00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:43,240 Well, this is a holiday resort. Surely some of them are lobby girls? 22 00:01:43,540 --> 00:01:45,860 Ah, well, I... Can I help? 23 00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:48,840 I hope so, sir, because the professor here has a query. 24 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,380 Well, that's what we're here to answer. 25 00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:54,480 Professor Collada? That's right. I'm Jasper Gramley, the assistant manager of 26 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,980 the Greenleaf. How do you do? How do you do? Now, how can I help you, sir? 27 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:01,000 Well, I simply ask if some of these girls here were hookers. 28 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:02,280 Hookers? 29 00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:03,500 What a suggestion. 30 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:07,320 Why, Professor Collada, the Greenleaf is just about the most discriminating 31 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,320 hotel on the island. 32 00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,960 These girls are graduate students, most of them. 33 00:02:11,220 --> 00:02:15,020 I can assure you our security would allow nothing off -color in the lobby. 34 00:02:15,470 --> 00:02:16,950 Really? How depressing. 35 00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:20,510 Now then, we were expecting you yesterday, Professor. 36 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,410 Yes, I was delayed in Tokyo. 37 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:26,850 I tried to cable from Moscow airport, but you know how ludicrously inefficient 38 00:02:26,850 --> 00:02:27,930 the Russians are. 39 00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:29,430 Fifteen, please. 40 00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:33,550 Do I have a sweeter room? Why, Professor, all of our accommodation 41 00:02:33,550 --> 00:02:37,910 studio suites, which are made up of a large living area, a terrace, with a 42 00:02:37,910 --> 00:02:40,250 jacuzzi -equipped bathroom. Yes, yes, I understand. 43 00:02:41,130 --> 00:02:42,130 It's a room. 44 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:46,980 I suppose Professor Medox of Yale has got the only problem. I can assure you, 45 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,820 Professor, there is no favoritism at the Greenleaf. All of you visiting 46 00:02:50,820 --> 00:02:55,080 archaeologists will receive the same high standard of personalized service 47 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,200 ultra -modern but gracious accommodation. 48 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,320 Why are these called the Virgin Islands? 49 00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:02,020 I have no idea. 50 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,260 Seems a trifle ominous. 51 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:13,980 I'll have a maid bring up your whiskey, sir. 52 00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:15,180 Are the maids available? 53 00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:18,960 This is a decent hotel, Professor. 54 00:03:19,260 --> 00:03:20,260 Curly. 55 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:21,440 I'm sorry. 56 00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:22,500 I apologize. 57 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,540 I guess it's just that I'm feeling a little bit jumpy, sir. You see, my 58 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:30,220 returning from Boston tomorrow with our little girl, and I'm always kind of 59 00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:31,500 nervous when they fly, sir. 60 00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:35,860 Still, Professor, it might save embarrassment if you would just remember 61 00:03:35,860 --> 00:03:36,880 this is a conference hotel. 62 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,620 Curly, have this put up in the lobby, please. 63 00:03:40,130 --> 00:03:42,030 I'll have it attended to, sir. Thank you. 64 00:03:45,690 --> 00:03:49,510 So, Barnum's arrived, has he? Good morning, Professor Maddox. Morning. 65 00:03:49,810 --> 00:03:51,990 He'll turn your lobby into a casino. Really? 66 00:03:52,630 --> 00:03:56,590 The greatest showman in archaeology does the Mortimer Wheeler stunt. 67 00:03:57,010 --> 00:04:01,730 People come up to him with a bit of pottery of such like, and he says what 68 00:04:01,730 --> 00:04:03,450 is, what they are. 69 00:04:03,930 --> 00:04:05,330 Only he does it for money. 70 00:04:05,570 --> 00:04:09,390 He bets the customers $100 he'll get it right. Does he always win? 71 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,550 No, not always. 72 00:04:11,870 --> 00:04:16,470 Merely a modest nine times out of ten. Just enough to make him a small fortune. 73 00:04:16,930 --> 00:04:20,310 But I think he does it mainly to impress the girls. 74 00:04:20,570 --> 00:04:22,630 I see. Is there a Mrs. Collada? 75 00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:23,970 No. 76 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:28,450 He's, shall we say, addicted to variety. 77 00:04:29,010 --> 00:04:34,010 If Max Collada sees a girl twice, he thinks the affair's getting stale. You 78 00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:35,890 he's a womanizer, a seducer. 79 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,720 The Casanova de Nojour. 80 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,240 You wanted to see me, Mr. Cranley. I'm the roommate. 81 00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:47,920 Oh, yes. Aren't you the English girl, Ellie? 82 00:04:48,140 --> 00:04:50,040 Ellie Somerton. That's it, Miss Somerton. 83 00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:54,320 Are you here on a working vacation, Miss Somerton? Yes, I am. I need some sun. 84 00:04:54,540 --> 00:04:55,960 Going to medical school when I get back. 85 00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:58,540 Oh, really? I have a great respect for doctors. 86 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:02,100 Would you please take a bottle of single malt whiskey to room 15? 87 00:05:02,340 --> 00:05:04,640 Cool. And you take care now. Yes, Mr. Cranley. 88 00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:07,020 What do you mean, take care? 89 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,940 Oh, it's nothing to get upset about. Jeff, would you please put one in each 90 00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:11,919 room, please? 91 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:15,660 It's just that sometimes some of our visitors, our gentlemen visitors, they 92 00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:17,680 the wrong idea about our girls if you take my meaning. 93 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:19,320 You mean they assume we're cool girls? 94 00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:23,360 Oh, no, no, no, no. That's putting far... Yes, I guess that's it. Oh, it's 95 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:24,199 happened to me before. 96 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,840 I've had some extraordinary experiences. 97 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,500 Once in a hotel in Grand Rapids... Yes, yes, yes. We're just running a 98 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:30,920 conference center here, Miss Somerton. 99 00:05:31,140 --> 00:05:33,380 We don't often encounter these types of problems. 100 00:05:33,710 --> 00:05:35,390 But the chap in 15 is an exception. 101 00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:38,670 Oh, well, Professor Collada is a very distinguished archaeologist. 102 00:05:39,010 --> 00:05:43,650 But off the record, he's also some sort of a Casanova. Seems he's irresistible 103 00:05:43,650 --> 00:05:44,970 to some women. That's him there. 104 00:05:45,870 --> 00:05:47,310 Doesn't look irresistible to me. 105 00:05:52,650 --> 00:05:53,650 Room service. 106 00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,070 Come in. The door is not locked. 107 00:05:58,550 --> 00:06:00,510 Ah, a woman. Just what I need. 108 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,260 Now, just a minute. 109 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:03,520 To help me unpack. 110 00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:05,040 I'm afraid that's not possible. 111 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:06,860 I'm only allowed to do room service. 112 00:06:07,140 --> 00:06:09,140 I'm the original helpless male. 113 00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:11,140 Observe this scene of primal chaos. 114 00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:12,520 Yeah, it's a bit of a mess. 115 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:13,719 Here. 116 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:14,720 What's all that for? 117 00:06:14,860 --> 00:06:17,820 A tip, of course, but if you could see a way to lending a hand. 118 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:20,460 Oh, all right, but not a word to anyone. 119 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:21,760 Of course not. 120 00:06:21,780 --> 00:06:25,540 I'll pour us a drink. Oh, no, you won't. Very well, I'll pour myself a drink. 121 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:35,340 Are you interested in archaeology? Yes. I don't know much about it. I'm going to 122 00:06:35,340 --> 00:06:35,979 be a doctor. 123 00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:36,879 Are you now? 124 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:38,620 Thank you. You seem surprised. 125 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,080 I confess I am. Cheers. 126 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,099 Bummer job. 127 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,600 Going to medical school in October. 128 00:06:43,020 --> 00:06:45,220 Really? Yes. Is that all right? 129 00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:48,320 Well, very ship -shape indeed. 130 00:06:49,180 --> 00:06:50,180 Here. 131 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:52,400 Thank you, sir. 132 00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:55,300 You're a remarkably attractive girl. 133 00:06:56,840 --> 00:07:00,040 And you're a very accomplished flatterer. I am indeed. 134 00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:02,680 Perhaps we should have dinner together and compare notes. 135 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,660 We poor skivvies aren't allowed to dine with the guests. 136 00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:06,900 Pity. 137 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,300 How can we meet again? 138 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:11,700 Send down for something. 139 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:13,540 I'll have to bring it up, won't I? 140 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:15,240 Splendid idea. 141 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,420 Um, that poster of yours in the lobby? 142 00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:19,980 Yes. What does it mean? 143 00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:22,720 It means that the fool and his money are soon parted. 144 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,240 If you want to know how. 145 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:26,860 Be in the lobby at about ten this evening. 146 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:30,840 Hmm. 147 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,580 Irish filigree brooch. 148 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:35,720 Late 12th century. 149 00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:38,900 Almost certainly from Connemara. 150 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:43,120 Must be part of the Templeton Horde. Am I right? 151 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:44,800 I happily guess. 152 00:07:45,460 --> 00:07:46,460 Oh, well. 153 00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:48,960 Thank you. Thank you. 154 00:07:53,610 --> 00:07:55,250 It's Chinese, I'm sure. 155 00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:57,650 Yes. 156 00:07:57,890 --> 00:08:02,590 It's a Tang shirt on glazed pottery. Am I right? Oh, yes, yes, yes. I'm afraid 157 00:08:02,590 --> 00:08:03,950 not, Professor Kelada. 158 00:08:04,190 --> 00:08:06,630 It is prehistoric Greek. 159 00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:08,150 Greek? 160 00:08:08,650 --> 00:08:11,010 Made from Yellow River clay? 161 00:08:11,710 --> 00:08:12,710 Very well. 162 00:08:13,190 --> 00:08:17,170 I'll pay you, but as you know, I have the right to submit the object to an 163 00:08:17,170 --> 00:08:21,250 appropriate authority, and if he or she supports my judgment... 164 00:08:21,820 --> 00:08:24,820 You will then have to decide whether to return my money, but by then, whatever 165 00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:28,880 you decide, you will be an object of ridicule, Professor Daxatides. 166 00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:32,200 Possibly I have made an error. I brought several pieces. 167 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:33,519 Let me see. 168 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:34,520 Greek. 169 00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:36,179 Yes, of course. 170 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:40,159 This is the Chinese and not the Greek shirt. 171 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:41,039 Thank you. 172 00:08:41,039 --> 00:08:42,280 So sorry, Professor. 173 00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:44,640 So sorry, Professor. This is mine. 174 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:45,900 Oh. 175 00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:48,100 Thank you. 176 00:08:55,310 --> 00:08:56,310 Very sinuous. 177 00:08:56,850 --> 00:08:57,870 Classic example. 178 00:08:59,650 --> 00:09:01,550 That's all very well, but what is it? 179 00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:03,590 It's an amulet. 180 00:09:04,650 --> 00:09:05,650 Amerindian. 181 00:09:06,010 --> 00:09:07,330 Mid -12th century. 182 00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:09,170 Probably from Arizona. 183 00:09:09,490 --> 00:09:12,670 Right? Well, I never thought you'd guess that. 184 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:15,030 I was with my daddy when he found it. 185 00:09:15,650 --> 00:09:17,810 Oh, Professor Dalton of Veracruz. 186 00:09:18,510 --> 00:09:23,410 Oh, and you must be Angela Dalton. Do you believe it? That's right. 187 00:09:24,170 --> 00:09:30,930 And there goes my fun money. Well, a girl's fun money is a serious matter. 188 00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:36,310 Come here, stand here beside me, and we'll see if we can think up some 189 00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:37,330 consolation prize. 190 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,340 Is everything all right, Miss Dalton? 191 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:20,240 And so we should never forget, when challenged by historians, that the 192 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:24,260 may, and were frequently intended to, tell lies. 193 00:10:25,780 --> 00:10:31,040 But the artifacts are themselves crystallized proof. 194 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:32,360 Very good. 195 00:10:48,769 --> 00:10:49,669 Hello, Mrs. 196 00:10:49,670 --> 00:10:51,250 Cranley. How nice to see you. 197 00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:52,490 Hello, Jeff. 198 00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:56,550 Lizzie, what are you doing here? I thought I'd better come home and check 199 00:10:56,550 --> 00:10:57,349 you. What? 200 00:10:57,350 --> 00:10:58,810 I'm teasing. We missed you. 201 00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:01,110 Both of us. But you're not due back till tomorrow. 202 00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:03,230 Right. Off I go. No, no, no, no, no. 203 00:11:04,270 --> 00:11:06,410 Uh -huh. Well, at least you'll be a happy man. 204 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,930 Boy, the bag. Thank you. Let me hold her. 205 00:11:10,990 --> 00:11:12,650 Telephone call for Professor Smith. 206 00:11:13,110 --> 00:11:15,010 Professor Smith to reception, please. 207 00:11:15,350 --> 00:11:16,830 Now, Jasper, whatever's the matter? 208 00:11:17,650 --> 00:11:18,710 Oh, it's nothing. 209 00:11:19,750 --> 00:11:21,870 It's just so great to have you both back. 210 00:11:22,210 --> 00:11:24,470 I'm always afraid when you go to the States that you'll stay there. 211 00:11:24,690 --> 00:11:25,690 Why would I do that? 212 00:11:25,910 --> 00:11:27,270 Because I'm such a dumbo. 213 00:11:27,850 --> 00:11:31,490 You're so artistic and educated and from New England, and I'm from Beatrice, 214 00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:36,270 Nebraska. Jasper, you're not a dumbo. Maybe you're not an intellectual, but I 215 00:11:36,270 --> 00:11:40,030 had enough of those in college. I wasn't very impressed with their human 216 00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:43,610 qualities. You're the kindest, strongest man I ever met. 217 00:11:45,110 --> 00:11:47,630 And I wouldn't have anyone else for a husband. 218 00:11:48,110 --> 00:11:49,490 Now, come on. 219 00:11:50,730 --> 00:11:54,470 It is time to put up the poster of the voodoo man. 220 00:11:54,710 --> 00:11:55,710 What? 221 00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:58,830 That's Professor Max Collada. 222 00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:01,290 You'd better be careful if you bump into him. 223 00:12:07,070 --> 00:12:10,890 I trust you'll have a dervish with me. The most civilized of all cocktails. 224 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,230 I can't. 225 00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:13,850 That's why I ordered two, please. 226 00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:17,930 Oh, all right. I've had a hell of a day. Very good. Sit down. 227 00:12:18,130 --> 00:12:19,130 Only for two minutes? 228 00:12:19,150 --> 00:12:20,150 Of course. 229 00:12:22,530 --> 00:12:23,570 May I know your name? 230 00:12:23,930 --> 00:12:25,230 Ellie. Ellie Somerton. 231 00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:26,450 Cheers, Ellie Somerton. 232 00:12:28,310 --> 00:12:30,930 Cheers. I say, I was very impressed. 233 00:12:31,230 --> 00:12:32,310 Really? What by? 234 00:12:32,570 --> 00:12:33,730 Your amazing performance. 235 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,090 Oh, well. You know, identifying those things in the lobby. 236 00:12:36,430 --> 00:12:40,310 How can you possibly know so much? Well, I have a most capacious brain. 237 00:12:40,810 --> 00:12:44,130 Can any archaeologist do that? Certainly not. If they could, they would. 238 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:48,980 I'm a television star in five countries, and I make three times as much that way 239 00:12:48,980 --> 00:12:50,460 as I do by being a professor. 240 00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:51,680 I'm not surprised. 241 00:12:51,860 --> 00:12:53,080 You won every single time. 242 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:57,540 I don't often lose. Still, you mustn't think I'm just a showman. I'm also the 243 00:12:57,540 --> 00:13:01,020 world's leading authority on the pre -Columbian era. 244 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,700 Some of those objects were very beautiful. 245 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,360 That little statue, Etruscan, was it? 246 00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:08,060 Hmm. 247 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,320 That was rather delicate. 248 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:12,320 Of course. 249 00:13:12,590 --> 00:13:15,990 Aesthetic considerations are secondary to an archaeologist. 250 00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:20,390 Wait. 251 00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:28,170 I have something here that might interest you. 252 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,210 It's lovely. 253 00:13:31,630 --> 00:13:32,630 What is it? 254 00:13:33,130 --> 00:13:34,130 Well, it's unique. 255 00:13:34,210 --> 00:13:36,870 I found that figure in myself in Central America. 256 00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:42,000 It has certain Mayan features, but is not closely related to any known Mayan 257 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:46,240 artifact. So it might represent a lost civilization. 258 00:13:46,740 --> 00:13:50,360 Really? Yeah. I see. It's a little awe -inspiring, isn't it? 259 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,520 Well, I'd like you to have it. 260 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:54,880 You're joking. 261 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:55,819 Not at all. 262 00:13:55,820 --> 00:14:00,420 Lovely things belong to those who appreciate them. It must be really old 263 00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:03,740 valuable. About 900 years old. 264 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:05,740 Its value is... 265 00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:08,150 But it'll always remind you of me. 266 00:14:09,110 --> 00:14:13,550 I see. No, no, please, please. I find you tremendously attractive, but the 267 00:14:13,550 --> 00:14:15,470 figurine is yours with no strings attached. 268 00:14:15,890 --> 00:14:20,530 After all, there are quite a few, how shall I put it, willing dames in the 269 00:14:20,530 --> 00:14:21,690 hotel. Yes. 270 00:14:22,670 --> 00:14:26,230 And I should warn you, Mr Cranley's noticed what you get up to with them. 271 00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:27,230 very cross about it. 272 00:14:27,430 --> 00:14:28,430 I dare say. 273 00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:31,670 Well, Puritans spend half their lives in a rage. 274 00:14:35,310 --> 00:14:38,930 About the figurine, I ask only one thing. 275 00:14:39,330 --> 00:14:40,330 What's that? 276 00:14:40,950 --> 00:14:46,770 Don't ever sell it. I'm bestowing upon you an object of beauty, not an 277 00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:47,770 investment. 278 00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:49,030 Do you promise? 279 00:14:50,010 --> 00:14:51,090 Yes, of course. 280 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:52,390 Thank you. 281 00:15:00,470 --> 00:15:01,830 With a wonderful present. 282 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:18,160 Cranley, go for a walk. Yes. Mrs. Cranley. 283 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,720 Mrs. Cranley, hello. 284 00:15:22,140 --> 00:15:23,920 Hello. I'm Max Gelada. 285 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:25,219 I know. 286 00:15:25,220 --> 00:15:29,600 Your husband has been awaiting your return with scarcely concealed desire. 287 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:30,519 see why. 288 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:35,200 Yes. Well, we just got back from the States. Oh, what a lovely little girl. 289 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,340 Nearly as attractive as her mother. 290 00:15:39,140 --> 00:15:44,980 Oh, it's clear that motherhood suits you. Some women find it to be an almost 291 00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:47,480 erotic... Is that how it strikes you? 292 00:15:47,860 --> 00:15:52,240 Well, I... I don't really know. I would imagine you were a woman with strong 293 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,340 erotic feelings. 294 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:59,420 I've noticed that physical beauty and voluptuous nature often go together. 295 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:06,160 I have to walk Hannah now. Of course. But I trust we'll have an opportunity to 296 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,940 probe these mysteries further sometime. I doubt it. Goodbye. 297 00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:11,180 Please. No. 298 00:16:16,620 --> 00:16:20,280 Crowley, I'd like to order a bottle of champagne. What for, Professor? To 299 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,840 celebrate your wife's return. I just made her acquaintance, and I'd be 300 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:27,400 if you'd both join me at the cocktail hour. I'm sorry to have to say this, 301 00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:30,660 Professor, but I do not feel happy for my wife to be in your presence. What? 302 00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:33,300 I have explained to her how I feel, and she understands. 303 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:39,340 Crowley, I have no design on your wife. 304 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:40,880 Why not? 305 00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:41,980 She's female. 306 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,880 Professor Gulotta, I have a great respect for your learning. Thank you. 307 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:49,580 have to tell you that my wife has an interest in archaeology. Does she? Yes. 308 00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:53,160 a student, she went on some digs. Oh. But after some of the things I've seen, 309 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,400 sir. What exactly have you seen, Cranley? 310 00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:58,160 Just one example, sir. 311 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:02,120 Yesterday afternoon, as I happened to be inspecting the air conditioner in room 312 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:06,900 16, through the open door, I saw Professor Roday's wife leave your room. 313 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:10,920 know that she's French, sir. Well, as it happens, Professor Roday has a bad 314 00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:15,020 heart and can't leave. love. Do you expect his wife to live like a nun? 315 00:17:16,380 --> 00:17:21,980 She came to my room of her own free will, and her husband knows that she 316 00:17:21,980 --> 00:17:24,160 from the Senate. Too sophisticated for me, Professor. 317 00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:28,000 All I know is that if you lay a hand on my wife, I'll hit you on the jaw. 318 00:17:28,319 --> 00:17:33,440 Oh, you Puritans do love hitting people, don't you? No. I try to avoid violence. 319 00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:35,820 Grandly. Why don't you trust your wife? 320 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:40,400 What? What's that supposed to mean? Well, you're apparently terrified of my 321 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,400 meeting her again. 322 00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:42,439 Not terrified. 323 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:46,160 I just don't want her to have to repulse insulting and unwanted advances. 324 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,400 Now, if you'll excuse me, Professor, I have to phone through an order. 325 00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:52,020 Certainly. 326 00:17:52,260 --> 00:17:53,820 What do you have to order? 327 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:55,220 A horse whip? 328 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:01,920 Come in. The door is not locked. 329 00:18:03,140 --> 00:18:04,180 Where shall I put it? 330 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:05,540 On the table, please. 331 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:08,720 Where's the sandwich? 332 00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:09,980 What sandwich? 333 00:18:10,140 --> 00:18:11,740 I ordered a smocked salmon sandwich. 334 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:15,200 I wasn't told. I'll go and get you one. Oh, no, no, it's not important. I'll 335 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:15,979 tell you what. 336 00:18:15,980 --> 00:18:19,160 In the wardrobe on the shelf, there's a packet of chocolate chip cookies. Get 337 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,160 them down from me, please. 338 00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:25,300 What happened? 339 00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:36,340 Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. 340 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,400 You told me my statuette was unique. 341 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:40,800 I know. 342 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:41,920 It was a lie. 343 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:46,180 You mean it was all nonsense about the Mayan features and... No, no, that was 344 00:18:46,180 --> 00:18:51,060 quite accurate. It had certain Mayan attributes. I can swear to that because 345 00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:52,500 designed it myself. 346 00:18:53,940 --> 00:18:56,100 You said it was 900 years old. 347 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:57,460 Slight exaggeration. 348 00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:02,480 It's actually nine years old. Made for me by an old Peruvian friend who lives 349 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,520 the Andes. Very skillful carver. 350 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:06,700 These four... 351 00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:11,350 are the last of an original batch of 100. 352 00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:12,930 100? 353 00:19:13,330 --> 00:19:14,830 What nerve do you want with 100? 354 00:19:15,330 --> 00:19:21,090 Well, since you and I seem destined to have only a platonic relationship, I 355 00:19:21,090 --> 00:19:22,170 might as well come clean. 356 00:19:23,290 --> 00:19:24,670 I give them to girls. 357 00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:26,370 Yes, I'd got that far. 358 00:19:26,650 --> 00:19:29,310 Not to all girls, mind you. Only special ones. 359 00:19:29,730 --> 00:19:34,510 Only the ones I might have married, if I were the marrying type. 360 00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:38,850 Do you give them to the girls before or after you've worked your wicked will on 361 00:19:38,850 --> 00:19:41,410 them? Always after. Of course after. 362 00:19:41,770 --> 00:19:48,670 It's a keepsake, a parting gift, a memento, a pledge that perhaps, I don't 363 00:19:48,670 --> 00:19:53,870 know where, I don't know when, we might meet and do it again. 364 00:19:54,390 --> 00:19:55,670 That's very moving. 365 00:19:55,910 --> 00:19:57,550 But you gave me mine before. 366 00:19:57,890 --> 00:19:58,889 I know. 367 00:19:58,890 --> 00:20:02,210 Sheer waste, especially when stocks are getting so low. 368 00:20:02,430 --> 00:20:04,010 But I felt... 369 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,920 You know, that it might... Soften me up? 370 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,760 Put bluntly, yes. You are a despicable rogue. 371 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,340 Suppose I am, really. 372 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,360 But an ingenious one. 373 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,280 And statuettes may be fakes, but they are attractive. 374 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:18,900 A bit like me, perhaps. 375 00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:20,620 Not in the least like you. 376 00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:21,839 A little bit. 377 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,300 Well, perhaps a tiny bit. 378 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:30,060 Ellie, you are rubbishing when you laugh. Now, don't start that. 379 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,140 I know you're just a con man. 380 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,560 You are. You can't... 381 00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:38,050 Possibly think I'd succumb. Knowing what I'd do. 382 00:20:44,190 --> 00:20:46,630 Apologize and tell her that I'm attending to it myself. 383 00:20:47,010 --> 00:20:48,010 Yes, thank you. 384 00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:52,890 Jeff, number 19's just been on to me about her rose hip tee. Says she's been 385 00:20:52,890 --> 00:20:54,010 waiting nearly half an hour. 386 00:20:54,230 --> 00:20:55,230 Uh, 19. 387 00:20:55,250 --> 00:20:58,910 That would be Ellie's number. She seems to have got stuck somewhere. Stuck? 388 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,460 Yeah, she took some teeth in number 15 tonight. 15? 389 00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:04,680 Yeah, that's right. That would be... I know just who it would be. Leave it with 390 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,559 me, Jeff. 391 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:09,240 Yeah, but if I could get hold of another girl... Huh? 392 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,300 Professor, it's Jasper Cranley, the assistant manager of the hotel. I'd like 393 00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:20,300 word with you, please, sir. 394 00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:23,760 Oh, not him, not him, not him. 395 00:21:25,930 --> 00:21:28,610 I have reason to believe that you have Ellie Somerton with you, sir. 396 00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:29,870 Really? 397 00:21:31,210 --> 00:21:32,210 What reason? 398 00:21:32,410 --> 00:21:33,550 Don't play games with me, Professor. 399 00:21:33,810 --> 00:21:34,810 No, it doesn't matter. 400 00:21:35,270 --> 00:21:36,270 You're right, Mr. 401 00:21:36,450 --> 00:21:37,450 Cranley. 402 00:21:37,550 --> 00:21:38,550 I am here. 403 00:21:38,810 --> 00:21:42,290 This is very sad, Miss Somerton, especially after my warning. If you felt 404 00:21:42,290 --> 00:21:45,050 were in any danger, all you had to do was come to me. Don't be silly, Mr. 405 00:21:45,170 --> 00:21:46,470 Cranley. I'm not in any danger. 406 00:21:46,810 --> 00:21:49,290 And as for you, Professor, I shall have to report you to your superiors. 407 00:21:49,930 --> 00:21:53,950 I have no superiors, and I'm breaking no law. So if that's all you have to say, 408 00:21:54,030 --> 00:21:56,810 kindly leave us alone. You may not be breaking any law, Professor, but you're 409 00:21:56,810 --> 00:22:00,310 sure as hell busting our house rules wide open. So I'd like you to check out 410 00:22:00,310 --> 00:22:01,129 noon tomorrow. 411 00:22:01,130 --> 00:22:04,050 That's not fair, Professor Collage. That's enough out of you. You're fired. 412 00:22:04,270 --> 00:22:07,650 I'm entitled to a week's pay in lieu of notice. Oh, you get it. You get it. 413 00:22:07,970 --> 00:22:10,470 You think that's funny? You think that's funny? Then try this. 414 00:22:10,850 --> 00:22:12,330 You'll get out of my hotel by midnight. 415 00:22:14,470 --> 00:22:17,650 What an extraordinary fellow. 416 00:22:18,350 --> 00:22:19,730 He is worse than the Russians. 417 00:22:20,210 --> 00:22:24,330 They at least send you a girl, even if they try to blackmail you afterwards. 418 00:22:24,750 --> 00:22:26,810 Oh, Cranny's so stuffy. Oh, God. 419 00:22:27,490 --> 00:22:30,190 Well, cheers. 420 00:22:30,650 --> 00:22:31,650 Cheers. 421 00:22:36,930 --> 00:22:37,930 You've been fired. 422 00:22:39,170 --> 00:22:42,470 Well, you'll have to accept something now. 423 00:22:42,710 --> 00:22:45,210 Oh, no, honestly, I'm all right. I promise you this. 424 00:22:46,030 --> 00:22:50,910 No matter how great my need, I'll never sell my unique mindset. 425 00:23:03,570 --> 00:23:10,310 First century AD, Roman Egyptians, but not a particularly distinguished 426 00:23:10,710 --> 00:23:11,710 Am I right? 427 00:23:12,030 --> 00:23:14,750 Yes. Thank you. 428 00:23:17,590 --> 00:23:19,950 All right, Mr. Know -All, how about this little number? 429 00:23:21,690 --> 00:23:22,690 Where did you get this? 430 00:23:23,370 --> 00:23:26,730 Is this from... Never mind where I got it. Do you know what it is? 431 00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:28,510 I know exactly what it is. 432 00:23:29,270 --> 00:23:30,270 It's a fake. 433 00:23:30,430 --> 00:23:31,430 Are you sure, Professor? 434 00:23:31,650 --> 00:23:33,310 I'm not only sure, I can prove it. 435 00:23:33,590 --> 00:23:34,590 Can you now? 436 00:23:34,810 --> 00:23:38,810 Well, that's very interesting to me, considering that my wife dug it up for 437 00:23:38,810 --> 00:23:39,810 herself. 438 00:23:40,850 --> 00:23:41,890 What? Yes. 439 00:23:42,370 --> 00:23:45,090 When she was a student and went on some archaeological digs. 440 00:23:45,580 --> 00:23:48,400 That statue has been sitting on our aunt's table ever since we got married. 441 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,800 Would you like to up the stakes a little bit on this one, Professor? 442 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,100 Shall we say $500? 443 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:55,820 Did you say your wife dug this up? 444 00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:57,780 Yes. Come on, Lizzie. 445 00:23:58,120 --> 00:23:59,119 Don't be frightened. 446 00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:00,760 Tell this wise guy where you got this thing. 447 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,220 Come on, darling. Tell him what this is. 448 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,920 It's Central American. It shows Mayan influence. It's about 900 years old. 449 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,680 There. You still think it's a fake, Professor? 450 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:13,280 Let me see. 451 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:20,280 Did you find it six years ago at Yucatan? 452 00:24:21,700 --> 00:24:24,240 Yes. I remember. 453 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:28,680 That is, I remember reading about that excavation. 454 00:24:29,260 --> 00:24:31,860 Well, let me see. 455 00:24:32,780 --> 00:24:34,940 Oh, I was wrong. 456 00:24:36,140 --> 00:24:37,240 It's genuine. 457 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:43,780 Well, win a lot, lose a few. Here's your $100, Granady. 458 00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:48,500 Thank you, Professor. 459 00:24:48,900 --> 00:24:50,520 No man is infallible. 460 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:52,120 Thank you, darling. 461 00:24:52,340 --> 00:24:53,620 Now come along, we've made our point. 462 00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:11,180 Well, this is a well -preserved item. A belt buckle, I believe. 463 00:25:11,940 --> 00:25:13,380 Second century Roman.